A SOURCE CLOSE TO CITY HALL has claimed that sections of the capital’s Underground network will be “obsolete” within 20 years if the average height of Londoners continues to grow at current rates.
Mayor Boris Johnson and Transport for London have been in secret talks to plan for a “taller passenger time-bomb” and have identified the Northern Line as particularly vulnerable.

“Lanky Londoners”
Lanky Londoners like England footballer Peter Crouch are reckoned to have grown by an average of 4 inches in the past 100 years and at current rates of growth, many will find it hard to move but for the unpleasant smell of their fellow Englishmen’s blood.